Big Bro's newest citizen snitches? The dumbest among us
News item:
Police in the 1970s urged citizens to "drop a dime" in a pay phone to report crimes anonymously. Now in an increasing number of cities, tipsters are being invited to use their thumbs — to identify criminals using text messages.
Police hope the idea helps recruit teens and 20-somethings who wouldn't normally dial a Crime Stoppers hot line to share information anonymously with authorities.
In Louisville earlier this week, a police computer displayed a text message from a person identified only as "Tip563." It read: "someone has vandalized the school van at valor school on bardstown rd in fern creek." The note also reported illegal dumping in a trash container and in the woods.
"It's obvious that the future of communication is texting," said officer Michael Charbonnier, commander of the Boston Police Department's Crime Stoppers unit. "You look at these kids today and that's all they're doing. You see five kids standing on the corner, and they're texting instead of having a conversation with each other."
In Tampa, a marketing blitz will help get the word out when students return to school later this summer.
Police in the 1970s urged citizens to "drop a dime" in a pay phone to report crimes anonymously. Now in an increasing number of cities, tipsters are being invited to use their thumbs — to identify criminals using text messages.
Police hope the idea helps recruit teens and 20-somethings who wouldn't normally dial a Crime Stoppers hot line to share information anonymously with authorities.
In Louisville earlier this week, a police computer displayed a text message from a person identified only as "Tip563." It read: "someone has vandalized the school van at valor school on bardstown rd in fern creek." The note also reported illegal dumping in a trash container and in the woods.
"It's obvious that the future of communication is texting," said officer Michael Charbonnier, commander of the Boston Police Department's Crime Stoppers unit. "You look at these kids today and that's all they're doing. You see five kids standing on the corner, and they're texting instead of having a conversation with each other."
In Tampa, a marketing blitz will help get the word out when students return to school later this summer.
Uh, oh... A vandalized van and a violated Dempster dumpster... Flash that immediately up to the major crimes unit... Give it a higher priority than the last one — a prepubescent punk accusing another prepubescent punk of dealing dope, but who is actually just pissed at him for stealing his teenie squeezie.
In the totalitarian nation of China it's a citizen's legal obligation to snitch on his or her neighbor for any infraction of the "rules" no matter how petty.
But should a nation of supposedly free people be encouraging its citizens to become systematic tattletales — especially irresponsible, pimply-faced teenagers with nothing better to do than mill around on street corners in groups mindlessly "texting instead of having a conversation with each other?"
We think not. We think, in fact, that teenagers should be banned from possessing or using any device capable of text-messaging, let alone actually owning one.
Text-messaging is not the useful skill of touch-typing; it's not even hunt-and-peck typing in the normal sense. Text-messaging by its very nature involves some kind of arcanely idiotic language of concocted abbreviations unrecognized by any dictionary.
Today's teenagers are strained to commit their own names to print with pen or pencil on paper — forget the ability to string together any semblance of a complete sentence that might stand a chance of communicating with a normal human being.
Professional stenographers, who reduce volumes of testimony, business letters and other materials to various forms of shorthand, provide a valuable service to society and spend long hours learning their craft.
Teenagers simply spew their moronic electronic drivel among themselves mindlessly and extemporaneously with no discipline, rules of grammar or syntax whatsoever.
Adults, of course, can't understand a word of this gibberish, and therefore have no idea what the little bastards are up to.
This presents a clear and present threat to the very fabric of civilization. If an adult can't determine what these little turds are into or planning, something bad looms on the horizon. They're teenagers, and history has proven nothing good can come from anything teenagers are apt to do.
Teenagers are instinctually driven lower animals and nothing approaching a human being until they've reached the age of at least 30. They should not be allowed to vote. They should not be allowed to speak unless spoken to.
And they damned sure should not be allowed access to machines capable of producing code whose algorithms are so esoteric they require a room full of cryptographers to crack — or a single teenager.
In an ideal world, all children from the age of six would be placed in academies under the strictest discipline, where they'd wear uniforms and attend school 10 hours a day, with heavy emphasis on the application of common sense to everyday situations.
Aside from eight hours allotted to sleep, they'd spend the remaining six hours of their after-school day in two hours devoted to calisthenics (not sports), two hours in vocal conversation with each other and their instructors, two hours practicing penmanship in the English language and an hour learning to type on a normal keyboard.
Since that's a 25-hour day, one of their educational challenges would be to fit that extra hour into their day, or be beaten until they do — providing an amusing little game of logic to help overcome the innate lack of clear thought in every teenager.
They'd be confined to campus until the age of 21, and only allowed to enter the real world after scoring at least 99% on an extensive battery of tests, one aim of which would be to determine if they can actually differentiate between their asses and holes in the ground.
Realistically, some would never be graduated from the academies and would spend their lives cleaning the institutions' commodes and urinals.
The rest would be allowed to enter society on a probationary level and possibly use text-messaging devices — if such haven't been banned altogether by then, which if collective intelligence prevails they will have been.
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Holy overreaction, BatshitBrain!
Pair caught skinny dipping in Portland reservoir
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Two people caught skinny dipping in a Portland reservoir that is a main source of water for the city nearly caused officials to dump millions of gallons of water and close the facility.
Ryan Langsdorf, 28, and Ashley Moyer, 23, were found in one of two sections of the Mount Tabor Reservoir at about 3 a.m. Saturday during a spell of unusually hot weather. They were cited for trespassing.
But the two were swimming in a section of the reservoir that was not being used. Had that section been in use, water bureau officials say they would have had to dump millions of gallons of water from that pool and possibly shut off the reservoir.
Earlier this year, millions of gallons of water were dumped when someone put latex paint, a construction cone and hundreds of flyers into the water.
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Two people caught skinny dipping in a Portland reservoir that is a main source of water for the city nearly caused officials to dump millions of gallons of water and close the facility.
Ryan Langsdorf, 28, and Ashley Moyer, 23, were found in one of two sections of the Mount Tabor Reservoir at about 3 a.m. Saturday during a spell of unusually hot weather. They were cited for trespassing.
But the two were swimming in a section of the reservoir that was not being used. Had that section been in use, water bureau officials say they would have had to dump millions of gallons of water from that pool and possibly shut off the reservoir.
Earlier this year, millions of gallons of water were dumped when someone put latex paint, a construction cone and hundreds of flyers into the water.
We realize that since Oregon has contracted Kalifornia Brain Cancer it's no longer mentally a normal state, but to shut down and dump the water from an entire municipal water supply reservoir simply because a couple of people were buckass naked in it...!!!?
God forbid, but they may even has pissed once or twice during their cooling little moonlight splash...
Let's see... That would probably hike the urine count up to about one part in 200,000 billion.
A much better solution would be to kill the source of the paranoia — those official bureau idiots — and throw their bodies in the reservoir.
They'll no doubt join several other human bodies and some dead fish decomposing on the bottom. Any large reservoir that doesn't contain at least a couple of dead bodies isn't worthy of being called H2O.
A quick, handy place to dump bodies, clothed or buckass naked, is simply another important civic function of reservoirs, municipal or otherwise.
So why is Oregon so edgy about a couple of living, breathing skinny dippers in a municipal water supply?
Because it's Oregon, a state now firmly in the firmament of looney-tune realms, that's why.
Move over, Krazy Kalifornia and Wacko Western Washington — and welcome Oddball Oregon to the asylum.
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50 years of 'progress' to a stupid America
If you think this country hasn't been "improved" into a shitpile of politically correct insanity, check out these fictional but valid scenarious of how situations would have been handled in 1957 and how they're handled now.Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957: Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack 's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to proudly show Jack.
2007: School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up pals.
2007: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark, charge them with assault. Both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957: Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007: Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for Attention Deficit Disorder. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2007: Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957: Mark shares aspirin with school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007: Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons, then confiscated by local cops for use as an undercover "citizen car" for more drug busts.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007: Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957: Ants die.
2007: BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents. Siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's dad and mother are placed on a terror watch list and never again allowed aboard commercial aircraft.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957: In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007: Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
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Typically insane Seattle seeks to quench beach bonfires
Seattle, WA, a single city whose collective gangrene of the brain rivals that of the entire state of Kalifornia, is seeking to ban bonfires on park beaches to help fight global warming.The parks department staff is recommending the ban, claiming bonfire smoke adds to greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.
Has it ever occurred to those idiots that millions of acres burn in wildfires every year along the looney left coast?
And they think their little pissass ban on people's enjoyment of a few bonfires on the beach will have some effect on global warming — itself an imaginary insanity fabricated by lunatic liberals?
Better a disease break out and eliminate the entire demented population of this hateful City of Grunge, whose managers and the people who elect them are simply too stupid to be allowed to exist.
If they really wanted to help the environment they'd get gasoline, burn that entire shithole to the ground, then commit suicide by jumping into the Pacific Ocean.
In the meantime, all the rest of us can do is pray for an early shift in the Cascadia Subduction Zone, which will send a tsunami across that cesspool, purging those turds from the face of the earth.
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PC lunacy looms over West Point
The PC parade of insanity rolls on...WEST POINT (AP) — Lt. Gen. Franklin "Buster" Hagenbeck, superintendent of the nation's oldest military academy, told a congressional oversight committee Wednesday that with more than 3,000 women graduating from West Point since 1976, the change is long overdue.
During a presentation Wednesday at the academy's board of visitors meeting in Washington, Hagenbeck said he wants to change the words to the military academy's alma mater and its companion piece, "The Corps." Both songs date back about a century.
In "The Corps," the proposals include changing "The men" to "The ranks," and "We sons" to "The Corps."
The superintendent said the changes aren't being pushed by female cadets, but it's a commonsense move considering the role women play in today's military.
"When are they going to be recognized for what they're doing?" he said.
Hagenbeck said he got the idea for the revision two years ago at a ceremony commemorating the 30th anniversary of women being admitted to West Point. He listened as the female alums sang lyrics from the songs that included, "We sons of today, we salute you."
Hagenbeck has spent the last few months discussing the possible changes with alumni, Army brass and cadets. He said he will make the final decision, possibly after graduation ceremonies on May 31 and before the Class of 2012 arrives this summer.
The academy's board of visitors, made up of presidential appointees and members of Congress, voted unanimously to back his decision.
During a presentation Wednesday at the academy's board of visitors meeting in Washington, Hagenbeck said he wants to change the words to the military academy's alma mater and its companion piece, "The Corps." Both songs date back about a century.
In "The Corps," the proposals include changing "The men" to "The ranks," and "We sons" to "The Corps."
The superintendent said the changes aren't being pushed by female cadets, but it's a commonsense move considering the role women play in today's military.
"When are they going to be recognized for what they're doing?" he said.
Hagenbeck said he got the idea for the revision two years ago at a ceremony commemorating the 30th anniversary of women being admitted to West Point. He listened as the female alums sang lyrics from the songs that included, "We sons of today, we salute you."
Hagenbeck has spent the last few months discussing the possible changes with alumni, Army brass and cadets. He said he will make the final decision, possibly after graduation ceremonies on May 31 and before the Class of 2012 arrives this summer.
The academy's board of visitors, made up of presidential appointees and members of Congress, voted unanimously to back his decision.
Tradition is being totally usurped now by screwball political correctness.
If the lyrics don't bother the female cadets, why should they bother "Buster?"
Dump that turd and the lyrics won't bother anyone.
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